Every day people are barraged with body positivity messages. There is always that post on social media; there is always that person telling people to love their body. Even though we all have insecurities, some people cannot relate to the struggles of not liking their body. On the other hand, some people have been at war with their own bodies. They feel bad and hate their bodies. It is a real struggle for some people.
There are a lot of things that people hate about their bodies. Some people hate the stretch marks and scars that adorn their body. Others hate their body size; they either think that they are too fat or they’re also slim even when they do not fall into the said body size. And of course, there are people that hate their physique and stature, their heights and so on and so forth. There is always something about the human body that some people hate, and it keeps them stressed out because of the insecurities, depression and other issues that they have to deal with.
So many people invest so much into altering and beating their bodies into what they would want it to be, yet they end up hating their bodies even more. It is as though to these people, nothing can fix them. They keep asking themselves what is wrong and the answer is more than cosmetic surgery, creams, soaps and ointments and a lot of other products and services that promise to give you the dream body. The answer is far more complicated than these things most times.
Sometimes the answer to your body-hating problems can be a disciplined commitment to love your body completely. This might be the key to outstanding and exceptional results. However, the leap from feeling negatively about your body to that place where you are more comfortable in your own skin is not the easiest thing to do. It can be a long and almost tricky journey, but the results can always be totally worth it. It can transform you totally and make you not just feel better but also be better actually.
WHAT CAUSES BODY HATRED?
For a lot of people, hating their bodies started very early, and it has become part of their lives that they do not know anything else. They became aware of how much their body image can be used against them, so these people just learned to hurt themselves before anyone else hurt them. All of this could have started way before adulthood and even teenage periods and the bad news is that body hatred gets worse over time since it has become internalized and fuelled by day to day life experiences. It becomes a source of anxiety and depression or other issues.
Body hate comes in the form of fear of judgment from others first then it grows into shame which in turns morphs into self-loathing. Self-loathing will have you wanting to hurt your body or even dissociate from it. The owner of the body becomes obsessed with the image of their body but not in a positive way. They are quick to notice blemishes and anything they perceive to be wrong with their body, and they go ahead to punish their body for it. They say the worst things to themselves. They look into the mirror, and all they want to see is a fat and ugly ogre when in fact this far from reality.
The thing about body hatred is that the vicious cycle of ridicule, humiliation and shame is not from external sources; rather, it is fed by the owner of the body. They focus on everything wrong with their body. So they wage war on their body in a bid to control, dominate, forge or punish their bodies ruthlessly.
This futile and exhaustive self-loathing will leave you drained and tired. It will begin to breed a feeling of hopelessness until you hit rock bottom and the only way to go will be up. It is at this point that most people realize that they have a problem and further insight will reveal that they are the problem. The next thing would be how to solve said problem. The need to assess the issues they have had to deal with over a long period of time might be the turning point for them to begin the journey to body positivity.
HOW TO BEGIN TO LOVE YOUR BODY
SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Self-acceptance is the solution to the problem of self-hatred. Where one thrives, the other cannot exist. Nevertheless, one must understand that self-acceptance is not something you simply just pick up on the streets or an emotion or feeling that you can will to manifestation. A delusional person would struggle with self-acceptance.
SO WHAT IS SELF-ACCEPTANCE?
We are always very ready to be compassionate to others. We can be kind to them and hold them to an attainable standard. We are gentler with them and generally extend warmth to other people, but we are seldom ever prepared to give ourselves the same measure that we give to others.
Self-acceptance means extending the compassion and positivity that you extend to others to yourself. It simply means loving yourself as you would love your neighbour. It means having an attainable standard for yourself as a human being. It may mean understanding that you are fallible hence allowing yourself enough room to make mistakes, correct them and leave with it. This is the gist of self-acceptance.
When you accept yourself, you are learning to be positive to yourself. It means that you are going to stare back at your flaws and accept them as you would accept the things that make you awesome. It allows you to see how perfection can be a lot of things and can reside anywhere. You begin to live your life without qualifications and conditions.
Self-acceptance begins when you learn to love yourself. As stated earlier, it is not very easy to find. Loving yourself is even hardest when you are always subjecting yourself to scrutiny.
You have to be deliberate about your efforts to learn self-acceptance. It takes time and effort to begin to actualize self-acceptance. You will have to keep your eye on the goal. This allows you to celebrate yourself when you achieve goals and success when it happens. You will also learn to mute the voice that is always criticizing you. You will begin to forgive yourself when you are not always assessing yourself unkindly.
Some people are of the opinion that self-acceptance means resigning to mediocrity, but nothing could be further from the truth. Self-acceptance allows you to focus on your strength, your better side and perfections. Self-acceptance allows you to not hold strongly to the things that you have little or no control over. You will speak positively about yourself and also begin to see yourself highly. This can be empowering and motivational to be able to pursue big things and also ensure that you are not a stumbling block in your own path. Being compassionate to yourself is not something that you do when you feel like it. You have to be kind to yourself so that you feed the natural state of compassion that is within you.
There are no “buts” and “ifs” about loving yourself. There are no conditions to it. You will simply learn love yourself the way you are.
SILENCE THE NEGATIVE VOICE
We feed into that negative voice in our heads that tells us that something is inherently wrong with us. The voice controls how you see yourself and everything that is happening inside of you.
When you begin to hear yourself say things like; “she did not call you back because you are ugly”, “you are not good enough that’s why you are not successful” and such other horrible things.
The problem with the human mind is that when you continually expose yourself to a thought or an idea, you begin to believe it and react towards it. When you always subject your mind to these negative things about yourself, you actually begin to believe it and see yourself in that light.
You have to learn to mute the critical voice in your head all the time else it will begin to grow into a tyrant that manipulates everything about you. You must keep this voice under check because it can be useful as it can help you live in reality, but you must differentiate truth from lies with this voice.
There is something intoxicating about negative self-talk. There is something about it that keeps bringing you back for more and more. It is as though we enjoy absorbing only bad things about us. You simply begin to blame yourself for things you have no control over.
STAY IN LOVE WITH YOUR BODY
It is one thing to realize that you need to love yourself into body positivity, and it is another thing for you to live in that state of mind. You will always have to win the fight between self-loathing and self-acceptance. You must remind yourself that your flaws and deficiencies do not define you and that it is not all there is about you. This daily reminder will help you re-program your mind to always feel good about yourself and your body. You can only become comfortable in your own skin when you begin to treat it and accept it as home. You will have a better life with this frame of mind than the one where you are your own worst enemy.
