When last year was slowly coming to end, what started out as a promising was almost marred by the coronavirus outbreak. Many people feel as if they’re adrift in the world. They work hard, but they don’t seem to get anywhere worthwhile, and this year especially has been stranger than normal.
Thankfully though, I have so much to be grateful for, and can comfortably say I accomplished a healthy slice of my life goals.
From building a relationship with my son and helping him overcome his struggles, to mastering the art of being a stay at home dad, from improving my mental health to enhance my physical well-being with fruits and vegetables. It has been a really healthy slice of life goals.
Heck! I even started to spend more time with my kids than I used to.
In this article, I look at the various ways 2020 has been good to me, and how.
The bond between myself and my son has never been stronger……
Despite having a 17-year-old daughter, who I totally adore, you never know how much love that can pour from your heart for your son. Sometimes it is even unimaginable how you can fall in love with your son even while he is still inside of your wife, growing as a foetus. You know within you that you would die for your son, you know that there is nothing in the world that you would not do for them. You know even before you have them that they are the centre of your universe.
Most times as parents, we only want to talk about problems that we can relate to. We only want to help our children with the things we have experienced and know about. Anything outside that scope is not worthy of our empathy. We struggle to love and accept our children when their suffering does not look like ours. We even begin to believe that our children are freaks or weird. We become disappointed and ashamed of them. They suffer because we have labelled them for being different. Even worse is that they do not stop trying to fix themselves so that we can love them again.
My son is now easily the centre of my universe. He is everything to me and I would not trade him for anything or anyone else. Still, I experience a phase in our lives that taught me the biggest lesson in the world. I learned that it is easy to love and accept your child when they are babies and depend on you for everything. It is easy to love them when they have not become their own person. My love for my son rested on the pillar of acceptance and it was shaken when he was not what and who I exactly wanted him to be.
In 2020, this conundrum is no more…..
My mental health has been improved this year
In 2020, I learnt that fathers should be given the same attention that mothers are given. They are parents too. Their feelings should be included from the start. Fathers would feel better if they were just asked to talk about how they were feeling about an event.
It is as though the mental health of fathers do not matter as much as that of mothers. The mental health of mothers has been elaborately studied. In contrast, the mental health of fathers has not received the same attention. The problem with this is that the mental health of the father can affect the whole family. The need to provide support for the mental health of fathers is important. Fathers need to take care of themselves too mentally just as children and mothers need to be taken care of.
One of the most crucial points of any man’s life is when he becomes a father. There are lots of overwhelming emotions that come with being a father. There are changes and feelings that come with being a father. Most people believe that the only emotions and feelings that come with becoming a father must be positive ones. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Research has actually proven that fathers often fall into depression.
This year, I’ve focussed on my mental health, getting the appropriate amount of support I need. While it is true that fathers are made to feel as if their mental health should take the backseat, it hasn’t been so for me this year. Initially, I like other fathers have to hold it together even though we are suffering inside, we must be ready to be there for everyone without anyone trying to understand how we are feeling and going the extra mile to help us.
This year, I started to take walks, seen a therapist, and indulge more in my hobbies (such as stay at home dad Instagram and this website).
What about father-child time?
Studies show that teens and tweens need the firm leadership a father can provide, and in 2020, my kids have gotten exactly that. These studies show that children get more confident from spending time with their fathers, perform better at school, and also learn to make better decisions thanks to listening to logical explanations.
Fathers that are involved find the time to attend their children’s recitals and games. They remove themselves from the TV to show their children how to balance their bank account or change a tyre. They encourage their kids to maximize their strengths and do their best. They encourage them to set firm limits and keep going even if they fail.
This year, I can comfortably say I have spent way more time with my kids than I have their entire lives. And there is an obvious reason why…….
Being a stay at home dad has helped tremendously
I’ve been able to spend more time with my kids simply because I’ve become a stay at home dad. I don’t care what people say about being a stay at home dad, I think I’m great at it. I have been fairly successful in spending most of my time with the kids and caring for them. Of course, I am rating myself based on the outcome of the children’s manners. My children are well-behaved so much so that I don’t have a problem with taking them to meet people or even going grocery shopping.
They also don’t get mad at me for making them go to school and that’s a good thing if you ask me. We enjoy spending time together. What more could a stay-at-home dad ask for?
Stay at home dads cannot seem to catch a break. People always seem to have something to say or one joke that makes them think they have hit comedy gold. This year, those jokes stopped getting to me.
Online Presence
Following on from recommendations of friends and family, I started to share my experiences, and also help other stay at home dads.
Having set up this website and Instagram in October 2020, I was very pessimistic of how it would all take off. A lot of work went into social media on a daily basis, as well the website, however, I saw the number of followers and visitors increasing by the hour, much to my amazement. Apart from a casual Facebook viewer, I did not have that much experience with social media.
Just before Christmas, in a hotel room in Poland, my wife came in all excited and asked if I have seen my Instagram page. Admitting that I hadn’t she advised that I had reached over 100,000 followers. This amazed us all and was a huge achievement in just three months.
The plan is to continue to grow as well as offering some educational and run resources, as well as getting to writing children’s stories and educational guides. Watch this space….
I’ve had plenty of fruits and veggies
Veggies and fruits are important sources of phenolics, antioxidants, magnesium, fibre, and potassium. Phenolics and antioxidants are known to reduce blood pressure and cholesterol. As a father, stress is one thing you will deal with on a day-to-day basis, and consuming the right food with the right ingredients will help you fight this battle.
In 2020, veggies and fruits have been my go-to food.
Veggies and fruits also increase good bacteria in the digestive tract and eliminate the risks of cardiovascular disease or obesity. Veggies and fruits will not automatically your youth or cure every sickness or disease, but their importance cannot be underestimated, and they are readily available.
Young men and dads are at high risks of cardiovascular malfunctions thanks to suboptimal vegetable and fruit intake. Good news is, this problem can be solved; dads just need to eat fruits and veggies. Studies show that all you need is an intake of about 400 grams of vegetables and 300 grams of fruits daily to reach optimal levels (this is about three cups of raw vegetables, veggies inclusive and two small apples).
Here’s to another great year, and that you all for making 2020 special, despite the awful pandemic that we have been facing around the world.
