I’m Done With Stay at Home Dad Jokes! I don’t care what people say about being a stay at home dad, and I think I’m great at it. I have been relatively successful in spending most of my time with the kids and caring for them. Of course, I am rating myself based on the outcome of the children’s manners. My children are well-behaved so much so that I don’t have a problem with taking them to meet people or even going grocery shopping. They also don’t get mad at me for making them go to school, and that’s a good thing if you ask me. We enjoy spending time together. What more could a stay-at-home dad ask for?
Stay at home dads cannot seem to catch a break. People always seem to have something to say or one joke that makes them think they have hit comedy gold.
The knowledge of how much I enjoy being with my kids and how good I am at raising them insulates me from the hurt that I should feel from “stay-at-home dad jokes”. I have been a stay-at-home dad for close to a decade and the expression on people’s faces when I say this is as bad as the jokes themselves. The mean people with the mean jokes are not the worst actually. The people that always have my attention are the ones who are trying to be fair and supportive even though they find a way to say the wrong things and make everything awkward.
These attempts to be friendly and pay compliments to make me feel good about being a stay-at-home dad are not really the problem. The problem is that I can always seem to see right through the person and hear what they are not saying. This is the real reason things are awkward.
Being a stay at home, dad is still considered a cultural aberration. It is so abnormal in people’s mind that they seem to wonder how you are pulling it off. The idea that women should be spending the more ample time with the children makes it a weird sight for people to see a stay at home dad. It is as though they see a male that is doing the duty of a woman when in the real sense, I am just raising my own kids.
I have also come to understand in my experience as a stay at home dad that some people do not genuinely mean to be mean with the jokes. They think it is funny and doesn’t actually hit home and make you uncomfortable. I have observed that most people tell these terrible jokes because they are ignorant of the impact of the jokes and remarks. Most stay at home dad jokes are awful, and it is not just about the fact that they are insensitive; it is also about the fact that they are genuinely not funny. Honestly, I have waited for a long time for someone to actually come along and crack me up with their best stay-at-home dad joke, but it seems I am going to wait for a while.
So, what is the point of a joke if it is not funny and also insensitive? Your guess is as good as mine. Well, for someone who has been at the receiving end of stay-at-home dad jokes, I managed to remember quite a good number that I am sure they make not just me, but other stay-at-home dads uncomfortable. The following made the cut;
SOMEBODY’S ON BABYSITTING DUTY TODAY
There is a reason this one made the first position on the list. Every stay at home dad whoever dared to take their children out has heard this one before. It is like the introduction to the world of the worst stay-at-home dad jokes. Personally, I have listened to it so many times that I get surprised when I don’t hear it. The crazy thing about this joke is that most people are not accusing you of anything. They are not trying to say that your partner is finally catching a break today, no. They are genuinely trying to make a very light conversation. In fact, it is an attempt to be nice and probably hit it off with you while you both are in the same space. So, what is wrong with this “conversation starter”? Well, it implies that when you as a father spend time with your own children, then you are dutifully babysitting. I am sure you can now see why it is all shades of wrong, but if you can’t here is why it is really not cool; a father does not babysit his own children. I think there is a word for it when a father is caring for and spending time with his children, and it is called parenting. You are a babysitter when the kids are not yours.
The insensitivity kicks right in when you further understand that babysitter just stand-in for the actual parents for some time. So, the joke further implies that I am just babysitting my own kids till their actual parent gets back from a trip to Hawaii. This statement says fathers are not part of the process of physically raising their own children.
The other thing about this joke is that I begin to understand the person telling the joke has a certain kind of childhood and parenting. I begin to imagine if they even ever saw their dads except on holidays and I get genuinely sad for them. If you do not want a stay at home dad to hug you out of pity, then do not make such jokes. It just says more about the joker. If you need love, then just say it.
I COULD NEVER HANDLE SPENDING TIME WITH MY KIDS ALL DAY. I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW YOU DO IT
The craziest thing about this particular one is that it is said with so much pity and depressing tone that you actually begin to think you are having it worse in life for being with your own children. They say it like you did a chore or been at a job you hate all day. Of course, I understand that these people are trying to praise me for being a patient parent and doing what they imagine to be a herculean task but how could anyone liken spending time with their children to a chore or a lousy job with an annoying supervisor. How they reiterate that they could never handle it makes it even more awkward because it is not as hard as roofing a house in the summer but then what do I know?
To people that pay me this compliment, I often want to ask them what they would do if they had no choice but actually to spend time with their kids. I want to know if they would run away or ignore the kids because spending so much time with them is so bad that it takes away from them emotionally and even physically. How can spending time with your own children make you want to pluck out your eyes? I cannot relate especially since I do not think it is too much for you to feed, bathe and clothe your own kids.
Now I am not going to downplay the fact that children can be quite a handful, but I think you should look back at the end of the day with pride and joy that you did what you are supposed to do as a parent and as a dad. Imagine your children finding out that you would rather be anywhere else in the world than spend time with them. Yikes!
YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT FATHER
How could this be a bad one? Let me explain. If I fall in front of a vehicle that was going to run my child over then, I do not mind being called a great father while I’m wheeled off on a stretcher. Still, if that is not the case and I’m just there with my little buddies in the supermarket while trying to pick a few things, and someone says I’m such a great dad then a whole lot is wrong with it.
I am just being a basic father. I am just being a random father, and there is nothing remarkable about just being with my kids. The statement or joke implies that me just being present in that moment with my kid is too much to expect from a father, and I am doing the world a tremendous service. So even though you mean well, I think you should reconsider praising me for doing the ordinary.
HEY, MR MUM
This is supposedly a harmless joke that everyone, even other stay-at-home dads like to tell. I actually do not think there is such a thing as “Mr Mom” instead there are just dads. I am a dad. Calling me Mr Mom would mean that being with my own children is me doing the duty of a mom and I don’t know where you have been, but it takes two to make these awesome creatures, and it takes two to raise them.
